How to Drink Like an Italian

A guide to drinking in Italy

I regularly see crap like this around the internet, usually from some twit who has been in Italy for all of 5 minutes and have convinced themselves that they are supremely knowledgeable on all things Italian. They’ll also go and sit in Piazza Bra in Verona and pay 20 euro for a beer while an itinerant steals from their unguarded bag. Oh look, gee, a local walked into the bar at 9am and ordered pizza rossa so now I can have that for breakfast too, awesome, yey me!

Shit like this just makes me want to go out and summarily execute a bunch of the cutest looking kittens ever known to man. By the way, just for the record, breakfast in Italy consists of a coffee and a brioche eaten standing next to the bar while gazing at the lady folk walking by outside or perusing the tattered copy of La Gazzetta dello Sport if it’s Monday morning. Before 10am but usually better before 9am. You’re welcome.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about drinking in Italy, and by drinking I mean booze, not whatever sissy pants non alcoholic poofter drink you’re used to imbibing. In order to properly help the layman grasp the concepts here, I will first discuss drinking in Australia. Keep in mind that I have owned and managed bars in Italy and Australia in the past.

In Australia if you drink before 12pm you are an incorrigible alcoholic and everyone will be profoundly shocked at your irresponsibility. The only free pass is drinking bubbly wine at what is known as a champagne breakfast or brunch on Sunday morning, but in order to partake of that you first need to be prepared to stomach the idea of going to something called brunch in the first place. Personally I believe that whoever is responsible for inventing the term brunch and the physical act itself should be doused in petrol and set alight in a public place. But hey, that’s just me.

But after 12pm in Australia, and into the wee hours of the morning, it is then socially acceptable to drink yourself into a situation where vomiting into a dump truck in between necking from a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream is completely normal. As a result, it is much more of a challenge to work in a bar in Australia than it is in Italy.

Why so? It’s because in general Australians tend to drink to get shitfaced, whereas Italians tend to drink so as to be sociable. (Australians in this situation think that they’re being sociable but that’s because it’s sociable in Australia to vomit into a dump truck while guzzling goon juice, which is cask wine for those wondering. Or something called Tropicana; that stuff was frightening).

So when drinking in Italy, the first thing to understand is that you are required to practice moderation. Chucking up in public is the antithesis of moderation, just to make that clear. With that in mind, let’s have a look at how Italians drink. Starting from the beginning of the day.

Breakfast (before 9am)

If you would like to drink at breakfast that’s perfectly fine. Just order a caffè corretto. This is a shot of espresso which has been “corrected” with something strong like grappa. Nobody will bat an eyelid.

After Breakfast (after 9am)

In this case it is perfectly fine to order a small beer or a glass of white wine or frizzante wine. Some Italians refer to this as a goccia di corraggio, which roughly translates to a dash of courage. If there are two of you then you can drink two rounds, one for each of you. Increase with the number of people present. If you’re in a group of ten people, either make sure you know how to hold your drink or feign interest in reading La Gazzetta dello Sport in order to skip a few rounds.

Aperitivo (after 11am)

Now you can add some mixed drinks to the list of consumables. Perhaps an Aperol Spritz, or a Negroni, or my favorite, an Americano. Red wine will make an appearance at this point, and beer sizes can move to large.

Lunch (12pm - 2pm)

Digestives such as grappa now get added to the mix.

The rest of the day

Whatever you want. Just remain steady and upright at all times. Yes, Italians do get drunk, of course they do. But they become inebriated with dignity.

This schedule is perfectly acceptable for any day of the week. It needs to be noted that foreigners such as Australians when first moving to Italy and who hang out with Italians for social occasions, are generally in grave danger of becoming raging alcoholics due to the tendency to combine the two drinking cultures. Keep this in mind if your young nephew has just announced that he is going to work in Torino for a couple of years. I’ve seen some tragic cases, truly awful to behold. But nothing as bad as a grown man drinking Bailey’s Irish Cream in public.