On the Training of Dogs

and the keeping of them in the home.

I enjoyed Kristor’s short take on what dogs mean to us. Muslims, of course, hate dogs, which says far more about muslims than it does about our canine friends. I have found that dogs are indifferent to muslims, but they very much do not like blacks. The two very large dogs that we kept in Uganda had to be trained not to eviscerate the house staff.

But a comment on Kristor’s article is what I would like to talk about today.

Pets are an obligation most people aren’t equipped for, including the immense emotional disruption when they die.

This is very true. On the keeping of a dog, the hound has to be trained. Training involves constant repetition and the clear understanding that yes means always yes and no means always no. Dogs do not understand shades of grey with regards to commands. So for example, if the dog is not allowed on the furniture, (and as far as I’m concerned it shouldn’t be), then the dog is never allowed on the furniture. My dog does not know that an option to leap onto the couch even exists. But if I were to allow him to jump on the couch just one time, from that moment all bets would be off. The no would have become a yes.

Most people cannot do this successfully. Being successful means being consistent, and staying the distance. Most people are also pretty crap at raising children. Most men are pretty rubbish at handling their women. All of these things are interrelated.

Today, when people get a dog, they take it to obedience training. This teaches the dog some sort of obedience from a single person, (not the owner), in a specific context, (the obedience school). Good luck with that, but now it is an industry. I am of the opinion that in the future official obedience training will be mandated by the state. Can’t leave that training in the hands of people who aren’t professionals now, can we?

Needless to say, my dog is exceptionally well trained, so much so that he is a source of discussion in the town where I live. People come to me for advice on their own dogs. I have no formal training in managing dogs. I just happen to not be an idiot.

The emotional disruption when pets die is a very interesting phenomenon. Of course I am sad when a pet dies, but I am not emotionally disrupted. Because it is a pet. It is not a person. I treat my dog as a pet. I love him, as a pet should be loved. But I do not love him as a person because he is not one. He is a dog, and dogs teach us many things. I have a neighbour who is a farmer, a tough and hardy man who served in the military in a special forces unit. He no longer has a dog because he cannot handle the emotional disruption when the dog dies. I cannot understand this position. There are many people I know with this attitude. Many of them are atheists, so I wonder if that has anything to do with their refusal to feel.

My own dog is a border collie, a red merle. His nose gets sunburnt in the summer months. Border collies are the best dogs, in my opinion. They are intelligent but not wilful. They want to run and work hard but they are not overly demanding. They are social dogs but they also value their own time, curled up in front of the fire at peace with the world. They are also dogs of a decent size. No yapping ankle biters for me.

His name is Whiskey, which is a good name for a dog. One day he will die, and I will be sad. But I will also look back fondly at all of the time that we spent together, the type of life that I was able to provide for him, and the things that he taught me. That is a good and beautiful thing. So raise a glass of something cold to all well trained dogs out there. May there be many more.